The paper came home in Eliza’s folder, innocently waiting for us to pull it out and give it a read.  It looked like another book fair notice, or maybe an update on holiday events.  But it was actually a notice alerting parents that on Nov 16, the school would be conducting an emergency evacuation drill.  Emergency evacuation drill, not a fire drill mind you.  With Paris fresh in our minds (not to mention holding the record for more shooting deaths per capita than any other country on earth), it was pretty clear what kind of “emergency” those kids were preparing for.

So what do you tell your 5 year old to prepare them for an emergency evacuation drill at school?

Seriously, what on earth could you tell them that is not entirely at odds with your entire mission as a parent: to keep them safe from harm and blissfully free of the worries that nip at our elbows and worry our minds?  That there ARE monsters out there and can look like everybody else.  And you don’t know when they will strike.  And that they wield horribly effective weapons of destruction that can snuff out a life as easily as scratching an itch?

Saturday night we all went over to my mother in-law’s house for dinner.  I respectfully asked her NOT to discuss the Paris shootings in front of the kids.  Being a news junkie and a Francophile, she was just dying to belabor every little bit of speculation as well as the facts of those acts of carnage.  Thankfully, she heeded my request and steered clear of the topic entirely. Thank heaven for small blessings.

My kids will probably have more emergency drills in the future.  That is their reality.

But I have seen the posts from friends whose kids have had the lock down drills at school, hiding in closets with the teachers and waiting for the all clear signal.  My kids will probably have more emergency drills in the future.  That is their reality.  I know that if I am lucky, that’s all they will be for Eliza and Malcolm, just drills.  Pretend emergencies that are exciting breaks from their daily routine, chances to run outside in the middle of the school day, something to mark the day as different.

I know that kids are resilient and that they can handle more than they are given credit.  But indiscriminate killing?  Mass shootings?  Bombings?  Hostage taking?  Beheadings?  That is the stuff of true nightmares, the kind of experiences (to say nothing of the endless amplification of the images and videos that grow like so much toxic mold, persisting long after the event) that can end a life or change it, forever.

We have nothing to complain about and so much to be thankful for.  We got off lightly with this drill.  I hope we continue to be so blessed and so lucky.  And I pray for those who cannot say the same, and doubly so for their children.

— Bad Papa East