The older I get, the more the lines of distinction blend in terms of traditional male versus female roles in the household. Maybe it’s just my household. But when it comes to making and packing lunches, prepping for a busy day of activities, cooking meals for the whole family, clean up (the endless task of), washing and folding clothes…well, I like to think there is a healthy overlap between mom and dad. I have read plenty on the unequal share of domestic chores across the gender divide, but I like to think (perhaps naively) that I am holding up my end of the bargain.
But ask any Bad Papa and he will tell you: there are just some activities are best left to dads. I hate to be sexist, but when it comes to allowing your children to push the envelopes of safety and good judgement, Dad’s are well suited to leading the charge. Rockets, remote control airplanes, pocket knives, airsoft gun, backyard swings, fireworks, exposing our kids to acceptable levels of risk: in a world of service economies and digital desk jobs, these are the last (wholesome) bastions of manhood.
Take the example of the internet phenom dad who built his kids a roller coaster in his backyard out of PVC piping. Beyond the engineering skills required — and a rather complete tool shed — the sheer audacity of building a roller coaster for your kids is insanely awesome. It’s an act of crazy foolishness that only a dad could muster, a perfect blend of poor judgement and inspired genius that results in unbelievable fun times.
…a perfect blend of poor judgement and inspired genius that results in unbelievable fun times.
What was my most recent personal moment of Jackassery with kids? Tame by comparison, but post Blizzard Jonas, Eliza was out sledding in the font yard. It’s a very steep hill which runs down to a stone wall and drops to the driveway. I was out salting and shoveling. Seeing her struggle to make tracks in the new snow, I decided to just get in there and make a PROPER sled run: smoothing out the turns, packing the snow tight and building a banked wall to skirt on old growth tree (a proper hazard to life and limb).
How did I know we had reached the optimal blend of dangerous fun? When Eliza shot down the run at top speed, banked around the the tree and shot over the stone wall, dropped 4 four feet to the driveway and slammed feet and sled first into the side of our parked car. She lay on her back for a very long moment, while I looked on, frozen in place. As Stephen King says, the world turns on a dime and this was just such a moment. But then Eliza exploded with laughter and rolled to her feet with a grin. She was so excited — and she couldn’t WAIT to tell mommy all about it.
This was not the infamous run in question, for the record.
I tried to explain that maybe we should just keep this one to ourselves. Of course, she ran straight up to the house to tell. Mom appeared moments later. Let’s just say she didn’t approve. And I guess that’s why lucky kids like mine get one of each of us.
— Bad Papa East